I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
