Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I would fuck him just for his dog
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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