she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
