Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
