your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
