You kept calling me your small dog last night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
