Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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