im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
