You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
