Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
