The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
