yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
