I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize