READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
