it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize