Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
