People with herpes should wear stickers.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
