he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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