you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize