I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Man, jail baloney is awful.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
