no, he came in my armpit
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Randomize