Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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