i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
