I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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