I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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