giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
