I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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