i think my tv is drunk
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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