so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
