You're my little dorito
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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