i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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