DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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