sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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