No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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