Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
