I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize