Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
