I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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