I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
