JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
