I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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