Pants 0. Shit 1.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
