The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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