so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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