The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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