you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
