there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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