I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
