How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
