At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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