How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
