My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
