You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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