FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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