yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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