Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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