What a fucking waste of an outfit
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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