eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Randomize
