i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
it glows. i had to have it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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