I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize