maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
