Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
