mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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