pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
