Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
