If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
