Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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