she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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