He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
