Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
