i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
