Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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