New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
