I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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