I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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