Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
