once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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