Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
