Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize